WE GOTTA MOVE THESE REFIGERATORS; WE GOTTA MOVE THESE COLOR TVs

What's the point of having 400 channels if there isn't a damn thing on there you want to watch?

Billy Clyde's default position is usually to look at ESPN, the cable news networks, or The Weather Channel. Granted, ESPN and TWC do great work. But unless you really care whether Florida Southern covered the spread against Georgia Tech, or whether it will rain in Rhode Island, it's not exactly like attending a major movie festival. Even one of my former favorite channels, CourtTV -- now renamed TruTV -- has quit showing compelling courtroom action of trailer park trash spouses accused of killing one another and now features sea shell collecting specials and exclusive reports on bungee jumping.

The cable news shows, though, are much worse. They are trying to cram political news down the throats of their viewers when no political news exists.

Take a break. If no political news occurred, then talk about something that did. Personally, I like the hard-hitting stories about teacher-student sex. Others probably favor color pieces about Missouria wheat farmers who win the lottery and consider splurging on a new pair of overalls. Hell, I dig L.A. car chases. Even though you know how it's going to end, there's always the chance of news helicopters colliding or maybe a little gun play.

The newspapers and political magazines seems to have received the message. But MSNBC, Fox News, CNN, et al apparantly didn't get the note. On Tuesday evening, I cut on the teevee to see what was going on. And was informed that the channel -- can't remember which one -- would be providing "wall-to-wall" coverage of the Mississippi primary results. What? These networks don't have time to remind us of the name of new president of Russia or clue us in on the bond market crisis, but can offer "wall-to-wall" coverage of a primary in a state I've only been to three times and probably has fewer voters than Harris County?

I'm not a judgmental guy. To each their own. But in Billy Clyde's book, this was not exactly Must See TV.

The two network shows I try to watch -- The Office and 30 Rock -- are supposed to be back on the air shortly. And The Road to the Final Four and The Masters are right around the corner. Thank Gawd!

Just wish Bob Newhart would bail us out of this tedium.

WE GIVE YOU THE RESULTS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND 50 CENTS ON A NEWSPAPER

Ladies and gentlemen, no one is so presumptuous as to tell you who will win before the fact. Except me.

This is the post you've been holding your bladder for. You've put off grocery shopping and sex with your special other. Your dog is hungry and your trash is piling up. Okay, here it is: House Death Match 2008 -- Winners and Losers.

TOAST
Doro Olivo
There's nothing wrong with Representative Olivo. She is genuinely nice. But so was Huey McClusky, who she beat to to win the seat. Things above her pay grade just got in the way this year.

Kino Flores
Brass knuckled Valley politics and lots of money usually means ... uh, jail sentences. But in this case, it's just the loss of a House seat. You can't piss off all your friends all of the time and hold onto power.

Kevin Bailey
There is probably not a single issue on which Billy Clyde and Representative Bailey agree. But we've been friends for two decades, and I'm sorry to see him lose, which he will.

CLOSE TO TOAST
Jerry Madden
This is a strange race. His opponent, Jon Cole, has run a stealthy campaign and is only 14 years old old. But it looks like he's winning. Bye bye Jerry.

Juan Escobar
South Texas politics are hard to predict, but Representative Escobar likely goes down. SPI dentist Tara Rios Ybarra has a pretty good organization, plenty of money and, well, her opponent is Juan Escobar.

Thomas Latham
Like most of you people out there, I fixate on the Balch Springs political scene. Latham beat Elvira Reyna, who now endorses Latham in his contest against former Mesquite Mayor Mike Anderson. I don't think Latham will cross the finish line, but it's a close call.

Nathan Macias
Former New Braunsfeels Mayor Doug Miller should win this race. But then again, no one really thought Carter Casteel would get beat on the last go-round. This one is tough to handicap.

Paul Moreno
This is hard to say, because Billy Clyde has harbored enormous respect for Representative Moreno for a long, long time. But his time has come and gone (it went about a ten years ago, actually). Marisa is the future. She probably wins.

Phil King
When a former school superintendent and mayor runs against you, that spells trouble. When he also has outside support willing to attack you on pocketbook issues, that's really trouble. This won't be a blowout, but Joe Tison looks like he'll take out the chairman of the House Regulated Industries Committee.

TOO CLOSE TO CALL
Jonathan "Baby Doc" Sibley vs. Charles "Doc" Anderson. My gut tells me Anderson wins, but Jonathan seems to have a better handle on what Waco wants.

Boris Miles vs. Al Edwards. On one hand, I have a fondness for both of these guys. On the other hand, I acknowledge that both are a tad bit crazy. I give a slight advantage to Miles. At least Al gets to be a Super Delegate.

Betty Brown vs. Wade Gent. God and Jesus are pulling for Gent, but it may not be enough. I don't want to seen as taking sides, but a Betty Brown loss would send me dancing in the streets.

NOT IN TROUBLE
Pat Haggerty, Dawnna Dukes, Charlie Geren, Corbin Van Arsdale, Aaron Pena, Delwin Jones, Byron Cook. Good incumbents almost always win.

MYSTERY MEAT
One of these three will lose. I have no clue which one. But every election cycle brings us a little suprise. Will it be ...

Jessica Farrar?
Bill Zedler?
or
Garnet Coleman?

Please leave your predictions in the comments box. Gotta go now. Nice visiting with you.